One of the most basic and primal needs of a human is acceptance. Even those that puff their chests and pronounce with force that they don’t care what anybody thinks of them are lying – mostly to themselves. It’s been bred into us, passed from generation to generation, those that complied gained acceptance and thrived, those that did not died off – taking their rebel DNA with them.
I thought of that fact when I sat listening like a sad fly on the wall to a group of 20-something women converse at a work event. The conversation of having children came up and each proclaimed they saw no point in procreating in this world. One even used the word spawn. I wasn’t struck by the fact that they were saying that considering the way the world has seemed to shift in the most heartbreaking fashion over the last three years. I was more in tune with watching their eyes and how they made those comments while subtly searching for approval in the eyes of their peers. They weren’t expressing their lack of need to create a spawn with sadness due to the world, economy, unrest – they were speaking in an almost prideful, boastful way. See, I am one of you, accept me. I have revolted against the patriarchy and in lieu of the stupid pursuit of a family in any traditional sense, I will work to only better myself. Eyes darting from side to side to catch the grins of peers. Accept me. I am cool. I have complied to what I’ve been told. Please accept me.
I have known a few female and male friends over the years that very purposefully have not wanted children and chose to opt out – usually they have said they were too busy, too career-oriented or felt too selfish to be able to care for another. That’s never been a big deal and I have admired people who have had the self-introspection to admit that and live their lives accordingly. But something so different is going on right now – something that feels far too planned out to be unintentional.
For money and power, the hateful rhetoric of politicians that has trickled down (or up) through cynical teachers, ideological parents, a morally bankrupt entertainment industry and a bought and paid for media has convinced children for years behind the scenes that this world is bad, racist, unjust, awful. That they not only need to often loathe themselves, but all others and most definitely all others that try to convince them the world isn’t all those things. THOSE people are the bad guys, don’t listen to them. If you do or speak up with them, you will get canceled and shunned. They can’t speak at our college, they are BAD. THEY can’t post on social media, they are spreading misinformation. You MUST believe us that they world is awful or you won’t be accepted!
Eyes dart side to side, seeking for acceptance – I understand. The world is a bad place. Anyone who disagrees with your opinion is subhuman. I will scream with pride about my abortion. I will accept the new words you made up as real, I will bend reality and logic for you. Just please, please accept me.
And, they applaud and encourage them; convince them they are being progressive and seeking justice as they slip further into anger, anxiety, depression because that is what that world view creates. In the world they created where believing in a God is mocked, believing in a family is regressive and supporting your country is nationalism everything is bleak. They train them to work, post selfies and live a solitary and narcissistic life to be accepted. And with eyes growing increasingly barren of the humanity and hope that used to exist within the eyes of a child, they comply, to be accepted. The more they see the world through those eyes the deeper the depression, anxiety and seething anger builds. But don’t worry, there’s a pill for those things that they will quickly sell you or the government will legalize weed to tax to give you on every corner.
They are numb now. They have removed from them any hope, convinced them that jaded and angry is what they need to be to gain acceptance amongst their peers, isolated them like every abuser does in a digital world of fake hate and then profit off of the misery they don’t even know they live in.
“Oh my NO, I don’t ever want kids“, she said with a smile. And, the group around her nod and agree. They have gotten the acceptance their humanness has made them crave and in that they have quietly, without knowing, doomed humanity.
I don’t pretend to know what the ultimate goal is here. Do corporations want to save on that annoying maternity leave and make sure their worker bees aren’t distracted by the love of a child? Do the environmentalists see us all as the carbon that needs eliminated to save the planet even if it means we cease to exist? Do politicians know that the only way to control people is through fear, anger and isolation and if they believe in God, love their country or have children they will not make them their Gods? Maybe it’s all those things wrapped up into one horrific, sad storm. I don’t know the true roots, but I know one thing for certain:
It’s an intentional consequence.
An entire generation of kids will keep choosing to remain happily childless to be accepted. Not all at first, but as it spreads and the craving for acceptance deepens, more and more will comply. And it will eventually lead to the end of us, long after my children bury me. My children that gave me strength when I couldn’t find it, hope when I thought it was lost, a reason for living when I had to sift through the shreds of my life. My children that loved me no matter what and made me know that it never mattered how bad things were, Mommy had to smile because they were watching. My kids that I’ve shared sunsets with, passed life lessons to, got silly together at amusement parks with. My children that gave meaning to my life.
They’ve robbed these 20-somethings of that – intentionally. The very things that could give them strong roots to gain them strong wings, they clipped for money and for power. And the thought that brought tears to my eyes as I listened to those girls talk was … and, we let them and they let them … for acceptance.
Pretty Political 